Tips for Keeping it Hot

  • Woo your lover: Remember how hard you tried to get them to want you before marriage? Well, couples must work to keep putting that energy forth throughout the life span of their marriage. So treat your partner as if you’re dating, but please don’t buy them token gifts because it’s a Hallmark Holiday. Notice who they are and what they like, and show them you notice through your actions.
  • Schedule a regular date night at least once a month, but schedule some QT –or Quality Time every day, even if it is only 10 minutes where you genuinely talk with your partner and listen to how they are, what they’re doing, etc.
  • You have to “feel” alive and passionate outside the bedroom in order to feel sexy and want sex, so keep physically active and engaged in behaviors that envigorate you (such as running, gardening, cooking, singing, etc.)
  • Don’t wait until you climb in to bed to act interested in your partner. Instead, romance your spouse outside the bedroom.
  • Do not stop putting gas in the car: Foreplay is an essential ingredient for sexual satisfaction
  • Try new things together, especially those that involve physical activity & get your heart pounding.
  • Make efforts to stretch toward each other’s interests, both in and outside the bedroom (within reason)

And Remember:

  • Make an effort to keep learning and talking about sex so you continue to understand your partner’s sexual needs and desires
  • Sexual relationships have peaks and valleys just like the other aspects of marriage
  • Keep focused on overall marital health, because the bedroom is a symptom of the rest of the relationship, so if you are sweeping issues under the rug, resentment or anger will spoil the sexual relationship
  • Don’t put off counseling if you are frustrated with or concerned about any aspect of the relationship, including sex. There is help.